I’m The Only One

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Art by Timothy M. Parker;  via Pintrest.com

When these drums
Began to sound
I tapped my feet gently
To its rhythm
I tossed my head sideways
And allowed my locs
To sway in the breeze

The drummer did not
Beckon me
He did not hassle
Nor convince me

He simply had his head
Buried in a vacuum
And allowed his hands
He did not touch me
Only a smile

It was I who closed
My eyes and waved my
Hands in the air

It was I who got up
To wiggle my waist
And teach
my entire body
How to get drowned
In its pleasure;
The sound of emptiness

This rhythm will not
Fade out when
I stop Dancing
No!

It rather will
Transcend this space
I Occupy,  to reach
Farther distances

When I have come
To reckon this
Song is for the
Entire World
And not just me;

When my steps have
Exhaustively
Mimicked the tempo
Of this persistent
Beat that tickles
A hundred
More and not
Find them intruders

I will know…
I will know that I’m the
Only one who needs to stop.

Allow Me

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When we have exhausted
All our years from
Before in hurried
Pursuits…

We’ll lie, each at
One end of
This line thinking
Of detached memories,
Hoping they never
Were

For how long
Will this Continue?
You ask
I know,  this as
you see, could be
unending;

These feelings
Have no
Purpose; in
The long run
If I should say

I know how
Far I’ve gone
With you and
For that I must
Apologize

I don’t want
To grin with regret;
That the good parts
Get entangled in
The grip thereof

So…

While we still can,
Lets brag [like we
feel nothing]
Our way out
Hoping to find
An iota of
Righteousness in our
Tracks after the fall

It is out
Of courtesy that
I hold your hand
On our way back
Home

Please allow me.

Weird Ones

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Image: Tony Rubino

You needed to know the
possible reasons why you
couldn’t talk to all the
other girls and feel loved;

Why you’d bite your
fingers until you got
some blue ticks and/or
at least a brief response
to the last text you sent to
one person or another; Continue reading

Growing up

Growing-Up

Image courtesy: conscienhealth.org

Look Just how much I have grown!

I watched my friends talk and laugh heartily about marriage and sex and babies… It felt weird. It felt legit; Nostalgic.

When I was about nine mum had a few friends who came by every now and then, under false pretenses like coming by for tea on Wednesday evenings or “just checking on the kids”, only to engage in petty sex talks; Like how Lorie’s father couldn’t penetrate because he felt he might hurt his pregnant wife and all. Yikes!! Nasty talk!

Mum would always find me a chore or simply say it was bedtime even when it was still 6pm and bedtime was at 8. But how far was my room from the lobby? I heard some of the things they talked about.

Dad used to preach at church sometimes. Mum and her friends’ talk made me wonder how a noble man as dad would get on top of mum or whichever way and still be alright standing in front of the church to preach. I disliked him for that. Such hypocrisy!!

Sex was a banned subject in my home. I was sent away when it was implied in movies, ads, anything. I actually was never allowed access to anything with sexual connotations. Period! Even if it was just two houseflies mating, wow, they will be killed. (Haha, don’t mind me).

They never told me not to try it. Never thought I was fit to know. Continue reading

7:45 pm

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THURSDAY marked three years since Eliza’s wedding. I paced the balcony of my new apartment, leaning on the metal railing intermittently. It’s about the hundredth time I’m leaning on the railing, with my head hanging loosely above the vast space between where I stood and the pavement below. I looked at the watch on my right wrist. I had already spent more than two hours contemplating…

I went into the bedroom to take another look at myself in the full length mirror on the wardrobe door. Head, arms, fingers, legs. My body was still intact, or so I convinced myself. In my deepest thought I knew. I just knew I wasn’t whole. Continue reading